What you build now decides who you become later

for Women 40+

MY LONGEVITY PLAYBOOK

Your years ahead are built on what you do now. How you train, how you eat, how you recover, how you think, and how you honour your energy. This is where science meets soul, where strength training becomes a spiritual practice, and sauna bathing becomes devotion to the mind and body that carries your purpose.

No fluff, no fear-mongering just rigorous insight and real-world tools to help you extend your healthspan and stay vibrant, clear-minded and strong for the decades ahead.

I created this blueprint because I got tired of waiting for the world to catch up. Twenty-five years of studying  (read obsessing) over female physiology, behaviour change and high-performance, whilst living the reality myself, has taught me exactly what works and what’s nonsense.

I’ve worked with thousands of people as a yoga, breathwork and meditation teacher, and I’ve watched women rewrite their entire lives the moment they decide to believe in their strength. When a woman backs herself mind, body and heart she really can become unstoppable. I’ve seen it too many times to pretend otherwise. My hope? That you claim that same power and realise you’re far more capable than you’ve ever been told or believe.


YOUR Female Longevity Blueprint (for Women OVER 40)

As a woman in your 40s and 50s you are entering the most powerful decades of your life yet most longevity science still centres around men.

This guide changes that. Here you’ll find a science-led, female-specific blueprint designed to optimise your hormones, protect your brain, build metabolic resilience and future-proof your health for the next 35+ years.

From evidence-based nutrition and strength protocols to sleep, stress and other tools proven to support perimenopause and post-menopausal health, this is your essential longevity playbook. 

Whether you want more energy, sharper thinking, stronger bones, a better mood, or a personalised strategy for thriving through midlife, everything in this playbook is built for your biology, psychology, and lived reality of being a woman in midlife. This includes how you look, how you feel in your clothes, and how you carry yourself in the world.

Dimple Sthankiya 

The New Future of  Female Longevity

This is a reimagining of female longevity where biology, modern neuroscience, and deliberate living converge to create a stronger, more powerful YOU in midlife.

The Woman You CAN Become IN YOUR FORTIES & FIFTIES

Rotating SVG Icon

I WANT STRONG OLD LADY BONES

Well first up I am quite literally OBSESSED with this and no one was talking about strength, sensuality, or the outrageous possibility of feeling better now than at 30. So I started experimenting. With biology, behaviour, breathwork, heat, cold, protein, stillness, supplementation, all of it. Not because I wanted to chase my eternal youth, but because I wanted to explore what it means to live with intent, to play with the edges of my own energy. I wanted to know how far presence, science, and curiosity could take me.

I’ve taught yoga, yogic breathwork and meditation for over twenty-five years. I’ve spent as long in boardrooms, managing teams, building businesses. I know what it feels like to live at full tilt, and I know what happens when the engine starts to ask for a tune-up. At the time of writing this I'm at the start of my 50s and going through perimenopause. This longevity playbook is the synthesis of being both a field guide for women in their midlife, who want to thrive with good health, intelligence, even a touch of humour, whilst also understanding some of the science behind the madness.

Longevity, for me at least, isn’t about staying young. It’s about staying truly alive in my own skin. It’s my rebellion against becoming dull, against the idea that midlife is about loss. I believe that it is about designing your life as you wish it to be, about not wanting to spend my old age immobile, not being able to travel and doing the things I love with the people I love, especially my son. Taking longevity seriously now is about creating a life that I actually want to inhabit for decades to come when I'm in my old lady bones.

Everything here, I’ve lived. I’ve tested, researched, and occasionally sworn at. Some things worked instantly, some took months, some made me question everything. But every experiment brought me closer to this: a life that feels deliberate, expansive, and dare I say it wildly alive both in my inner world and the one that steps outside into the other, external world we all see and experience. 

If you’ve found your way here, you’re probably the same kind of curious, the kind of woman who doesn’t want to fade quietly into “fine.” You want to understand, refine, expand, laugh, flirt, lift, love, build, rest, and live long enough to enjoy the masterpiece of it all that is this life. In good health.

DISCLAIMER: Everything here is based on my experience.

So take what you need.
Try it, question it, adapt it.

Make it yours.
This isn’t a manual.
It’s an invitation to the next, most vivacious, healthier version of you.

WHY ME, WHY NOW?

I didn’t build Voyage & Soap because I was having a midlife crisis. I built it because I wanted to see how good life in my 40s, 50s and beyond could get. At some point in my forties, I realised the conversation about midlife was catastrophically dull, all decline and maintenance, as if the only goal was to stay upright and hydrated until the end. 

Subscribe to my Substack THE MIDLIFE CODE, and get immediate access to every protocol in my Longevity Playbook: strength training, sleep optimiSation, protein strategy, supplement stack, VO2 max, and more. Built for women 40+

Activates muscle-repair and longevity pathways.

lift heavy

SLEEP

SCROLL

You are not at the mercy of your genes. Let’s start there, because “it runs in my family” has become the classiest way to give up. Epigenetics is the science proving your DNA is less a destiny and more a draft version. You can edit it daily with food, sleep, movement, stress, light, laughter and yes, the occasional decision not to drink wine on a Tuesday.

Every action sends tiny biochemical memos to your genes: “express this,” “silence that.”

  • Lift heavy weights? Activates muscle-repair and longevity pathways.
  • Meditate? Down-regulates inflammation and cortisol.
  • Sleep properly? Switches on DNA repair.
  • Doom scroll late into the night? Flips on ageing and fat-storage genes like lights on a Christmas tree.

You know what? Over 80% of ageing is driven by lifestyle and environment, not DNA.

Studies on midlife women show that consistent exercise, plant-rich diets, and stress regulation literally alter gene expression lowering inflammatory and metabolic risk factors that surge during perimenopause and after menopause. Translation: you can talk your body out of decline. In molecular morse code.

Oestrogen may have left the building, but your epigenome still takes notes. Every walk, strength training session, sauna, or superfood is a rewrite. It’s your biological version control constantly updating. Identical-twin studies show biological-age gaps of up to ten years purely from lifestyle. Ten. Same DNA, completely different outcomes.

So no, you didn’t “inherit” your mother’s fatigue, arthritis, or expanding midsection. You inherited the potential for them. And potential is optional. You are not a passenger in your biology.

You’re the editor-in-chief.
The most powerful line in your genetic code?
Subject to lifestyle.

Epigenetics

MEDITATE

Flips on ageing and fat-storage genes like lights on a Christmas tree.

Switches on DNA repair.

Down-regulates inflammation and cortisol.

mind-blowing

66% lower risk of dementia

The most powerful longevity drug isn’t in a lab it’s sitting half-naked in a sauna.

Four sessions a week. Twenty minutes each.

40% lower risk of dying early. 66% lower risk of dementia.

That’s from 20 years of Finnish research on over 2,000 people. No hype. No crystals. Just sweat. Here’s why it’s borderline miraculous: heat exposure mimics exercise. Your heart rate climbs to light-cardio levels think Zone 2, blood vessels dilate, and heat-shock proteins flood your system. And lets not forget those tiny molecular bodyguards that repair your damaged cells, clearing out your junk, and making your mitochondria behave like they’re thirty again.

Regular sauna bathing cuts inflammation, improves circulation, boosts growth hormone, improves insulin resistance and trains your body to handle stress better. It even helps balance menopausal blood pressure and brain fog because, unlike your hormones, heat stress still shows up when you need it.

The science is so good it’s almost rude. Studies show that adding a fourth weekly session doesn’t just nudge the benefits up it leaps them exponentially. Three sessions are good; four are phenomenal.

Here’s what it feels like: you sit there questioning your life choices, sweat running down your spine, and then suddenly your brain releases serotonin and dopamine like you’ve won a neurological lottery. The stress you walked in with? Gone. The exhaustion that’s been your personality since 2020? Lifted.

Basically your nervous system gets a hard reset. Your skin glows like you’ve had eight hours’ sleep and an apology from your ex.

Do it four times a week. Twenty minutes. And every cell in your body will start whispering thank you.

If you can’t install one at home, join a gym, a spa, a dodgy-looking Scandinavian shed anything. The hardest part isn’t the heat. It’s deciding to start instead of bookmarking this for “later.” Which we both know means never. And your future self is already in the sauna wondering what’s taking you so long.

SAUNA BATHING

40% lower risk of dying early

The Hot Habit That Outsmarts Ageing

LONGEVITY ISN'T LUCK. IT'S LIFESTYLE. THE BODY KNOWS WHAT SCIENCE IS ONLY JUST PROVING.

The Freeze That Frees You

the first ten seconds are pure hell. your body panics.

COLD PLUNGE

The first ten seconds are pure hell. Your body panics. Your lungs lock. Your brain starts writing your obituary. Then… the switch flips. Your mind sharpens. Your breath steadies. And you feel alive in a way you probably haven’t since the early 2000s.

That’s not enlightenment that’s neurochemistry.

Cold exposure floods your body with dopamine up to 250% higher and is sustained for hours. It’s focus, drive, and calm rolled into one hit. Unlike caffeine, it doesn’t spike and crash it steadies you. It also activates norepinephrine, the molecule of alertness, and beta-endorphins, nature’s painkillers.

Want the complete protocol? 
Inside The Longevity Playbook For Women over 40 on Substack, you'll get:

  • The exact temperature ranges for women (14-15°C sweet spot)
  • How to start safely (30-second protocol)
  • Timing, frequency, and progression
  • What to do when your nervous system rebels
  • Troubleshooting for perimenopausal women
  • The science of hormesis explained
  • Audio guide: "Your First Cold Plunge"

GET ACCESS TO the full Cold Plunge protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY ON THE MIDLIFE CODE SUBSTACK - PAID SUBSCRIBERS ONLY. 

FEED YOUR GUT, FIX YOUR MOOD

FEED YOUR GUT

Let’s get one thing straight, your gut is not a side-character in your wellness story. It’s not a passive tube you send food down when you’re bored or stressed or standing in the kitchen wondering what day it is. Your gut is your second brain. A 100-trillion-strong ecosystem running your mood, your energy, your immunity, your metabolism, your cravings, and your ability to cope with life without shouting at strangers. And right now? Most women in midlife and likely including you, are accidentally starving it.

Because the thing your second brain wants more than supplements, collagen, magic powders, and “clean-girl salads”?

Fibre.
And protein.
In quantities that will probably shock you.


Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • The 30-Plant Rule (how to hit it without trying)
  • Exact fibre targets (35-50g/day) with meal examples
  • The "Fibre Booster" strategy for every meal
  • Bean protocols (4× per week minimum)
  • How to avoid becoming a "fart machine" (yes, really)
  • 7-day meal plan with shopping lists
  • Gut health tracker



FIBRE & GUT MICROBIOME

FIBRE FEEDS YOUR GUT & FIXES YOUR MOOD BECAUSE YOUR SECOND BRAIN IS RUNNING THE SHOW

ACCESS the full Gut & Fibre Protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY ON The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

YOUR GUIDE TO GETTING MORE FIBRE

A ZERO-EXCUSES, SHOCKINGLY

SIMPLE WEEKLY PLAN 

EAT MORE PLANTS

TO TRANSFORM YOUR GUT MICROBIOME & MOOD

FEED YOUR MICROBIOME

ACCESS the full Gut & Fibre Protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY ON The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

BUILD MUSCLE

Forget “eating clean.” You’re not a Dyson. Midlife nutrition isn’t about restriction it’s about reconstruction. Once oestrogen starts its disappearing act, your muscle, collagen, and energy all file for early retirement. Protein is how you convince them to stay. Here’s the biology. After 40, you become less sensitive to the amino acids that trigger muscle protein synthesis - the fancy term for “rebuild, don’t decay.” You need more protein, not less, to tell your body, “We’re still growing, thanks.”

PROTEIN. YOU NEED MORE OF IT. A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK.

Not because you’re “being good,” or “trying to be healthy,” or whatever polite phrase women use to disguise the fact they’re exhausted. But because protein is the stuff you’re made of. Literally. Your muscles, your hormones, your mood-regulating chemicals, your immune system, even your hair is all built from protein. And here’s what I want you to know. As you hit midlife, your need for protein doesn’t quietly tiptoe away. In fact it doubles down. It becomes the diva of your nutritional world. It wants attention. And if you don’t give it what it wants? Trust me it sulks. And you'll feel it everywhere.

You know that 4 p.m. craving that turns you into a woman who would happily mug a child for their packet of crisps? That’s low protein. That foggy-all-day feeling where your brain might as well be powered by custard? Protein again. The sudden sense that your limbs have been replaced with overcooked linguine? Say it with me: protein.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • Impact on your microbes and microbiome
  • Exact protein calculations for your bodyweight
  • Impact on your metabolic health
  • Meal-by-meal breakdown (what 40g actually looks like)
  • Plant vs animal protein strategies
  • How to pair protein with fibre (the magic combination)
  • Protein timing for muscle retention
  • Quick protein hacks for busy women
  • 14-day protein meal plan


PROTEIN

Because Your Muscles Are Not Going to Rebuild Themselves

GIVE YOUR BODY what it needs, and it will astonish you.


ACCESS the full PROTEIN Protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY ON The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

Supplements

the SCIENCE OF SMART SUPPORT

FOOD BUILDS THE FOUNDATION, BUT SUPPLEMENTS ARE THE FINE-TUNING

Supplements aren't shortcuts they’re amplifiers to great health. They are little boosts that help your biology run on something closer to premium fuel. And as you intimately know, once you hit your 40s and 50s, the margin for error gets smaller. Sleep debt, stress, hormones, wine - they all start charging interest. Supplements can’t outsmart a bad lifestyle, but they can certainly make your healthspan stronger as you age by ensuring you're body is getting what it truly needs as you age.

WHY THE SUPPLEMENTS I RECOMMEND WORK TOGETHER
What these compounds share isn’t marketing it’s science and mechanism. They work through the same systems that govern ageing itself:
  • Energy production (ATP, mitochondria)
  • Inflammation control (NF-κB, cytokine balance)
  • Cell repair and gene signalling (sirtuins, NAD⁺, BDNF)

Together, you'll find they strengthen what matters most, your metabolic resilience, your cognitive ability, and your capacity for regeneration. Because as I said earlier, longevity isn’t about chasing your youth at all, at this age it’s about maintaining your vital capacities: the ability to think clearly; move freely and wake up every day with energy to spare.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook For Women Over 40 on Substack, you'll get:

The complete supplement protocol includes detailed breakdowns of:

  • Omega-3 (EPA/DHA dosing for midlife women)
  • Vitamin D3 + K2 + Magnesium (the timing trio)
  • Curcumin (bioavailability hacks)
  • NAD+/NMN (cellular energy restoration)
  • Plus: exact dosages, timing, brands I recommend, and cycling strategies


Here’s what actually earns its place on MY shelf

CREATINE

Scientifically: Creatine is one of the most extensively studied and safest molecules in human physiology consistently shown to support strength, cognition and cellular energy in women navigating midlife changes.

Creatine isn’t about lifting weights it’s about lifting your energy.

As hormones shift, women lose muscle faster, metabolism slows, and your brain can feel like it’s buffering.

Creatine helps your cells make more usable energy for your muscles and your mind.

Why women in peri/menopause benefit:
  • Helps protect muscle as oestrogen drops (key for metabolism).
  • Supports memory, recall and executive function on foggy days.
  • Reduces that mid-afternoon crash.
  • Helps mood and energy stay steadier when sleep is fragmented.

Creating is not a “gym bro” supplement, it's a longevity essential.

Creatine increases your body’s supply of ATP (adenosine triphosphate) the chemical energy that powers muscle contraction, brain function, and pretty much everything that makes you feel alive.

For women in midlife I'd say it’s a quiet revolution. 5g per day of Creatine Monohydrate. You're welcome!

01

Access the full supplement protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

MUSCLE IS MEDICINE & NATURE'S SPANX

LIFTS MOOD, SLEEP AND SEX DRIVE

SLASHES RISK OF ALZHEIMER'S OSTEOPOROSIS & METABOLIC DISEASE

After 40, women lose up to 1 percent of muscle mass a year faster, during perimenopause and after menopause, when oestrogen, your natural muscle-preserving hormone, packs her bags and heads for the hills. Less muscle means slower metabolism, weaker bones, lower libido, and yes, brain fog (because muscle and cognition are biologically linked).

Here’s what no one tells you: muscle is an organ. It talks to your brain, liver and hormones through messengers called myokines. These microscopic legends reduce inflammation, balance blood sugar, and even tell your brain to grow new neurons. Every time you pick up a weight, you’re sending your body a biochemical memo that says, “Stay alive and fabulous.” Remember to lift heavy.

FOR MIDLIFE WOMEN, I BELIEVE STRENGTH TRAINING IS NOT OPTIONAL.

Strength Training 

REBUILDS BONE DENSITY

RAISES GROWTH HORMONE AND TESTOSTERONE

Access the full sTRENGTH TRAINING protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

women 40+ lose power

LOSS OF POWER IS DANGEROUS

THERE MUST BE

HERE'S WHAT ALMOST NOBODY EXPLAINS PROPERLY:

A BETTER WAY

Women don’t just lose muscle after 40 we lose power. Power is the ability to generate force quickly. It’s the difference between catching yourself when you trip…and going down like an exhausted toddler, wrist first.

Loss of muscle = annoying.
Loss of power = dangerous.


Why? Because the type II (fast-twitch) fibres that give you power are the first to vanish with age, especially after menopause, when oestrogen (which supports muscle synthesis, tendon resilience, and neuromuscular connection) exits the chat.

This is why strength training in midlife isn’t just about sculpting your arms for summer dresses, it’s about keeping your nervous system sharp enough to respond to life.

Women respond beautifully to strength training at any age, often better than men in several ways:
  • We recover faster.
  • We build strength efficiently even with lower loads.
  • We maintain form and consistency better.
  • And our muscles stay responsive to protein and training decades longer than we’ve been told.

The research from resistance-training experts like Schoenfeld, Phillips, Layne Norton and Luc van Loon is stunning: Even women in their 60s and 70s can still gain substantial muscle and strength with as little as 2–3 sessions per week. It is not “too late.” That was a myth sold to you by people who wanted you to buy collagen instead of dumbbells.

01

1. Women need heavier weights than we think not because we’re weak, but because we’re strong

Most women spend decades doing 2kg bicep curls because someone once told them they’d “bulk.” But hormonally? We literally can’t. Unless you’re injecting testosterone in a car park at midnight, you’re safe.


what REALLY MATTERS FOR WOMEN

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook For Women Over 40 on Substack, you'll get:

  • The 5 critical principles women need (heavier weights, lower reps, near-failure training)
  • 12-week progressive strength programme
  • Exercise library with form cues
  • How to lift for bone density (the exact loading needed)
  • Rep ranges, rest periods, progressions
  • Home workout alternatives (dumbbells only)
  • Why women quit & how not to
  • Getting your mindset shift right

Access the full sTRENGTH TRAINING protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

AND WHY YOU WON'T

WHY WOMEN QUIT

THIS IS THE BIT THAT MATTERS
Women don’t skip strength training because they’re lazy they skip it because nobody taught them how to want it. Men lift for ego, aesthetics, or competition.

Women lift for freedom:
  • Freedom from brittle bones.
  • Freedom from fragility.
  • Freedom from “careful now” energy.
  • Freedom to put your own suitcase in the overhead locker at 70.
  • Freedom to age with arrogance, not apology.

When that clicks, the motivation becomes internal, not aesthetic.
That’s when it sticks.

Access the full MINDSET TRAINING protocol FOR LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

LIVE LONG

If strength training is your biological SKIMS, cardio is your longevity insurance policy, specifically, VO₂ Max, the measure of how efficiently your body uses oxygen. The blunt truth: your VO₂ Max score is one of the single strongest predictors of how long you’ll live. Not your weight. Not your cholesterol. Oxygen.

The higher your VO₂ Max, the lower your risk of everything bad heart disease, dementia, early death, mid-afternoon collapse. It’s that powerful. But here’s the good news, you don’t need to spend hours slogging on a treadmill.

The fix is SIT (Sprint Interval Training) twenty seconds of all-out effort, ninety seconds of rest, repeat six times. That’s it. Twelve minutes.

Researchers found that SIT improves mitochondrial function (your cellular batteries), boosts insulin sensitivity, and builds cardiovascular resilience just as effectively as traditional endurance training in one-tenth of the time.

For midlife women, this is gold. As oestrogen dips, your mitochondria which depend on it, start to sulk. Short, intense bursts of movement wake them up again. You'll burn fat more efficiently, regulate your hormones better, and rebuild energy.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • Exact SIT protocols (20 sec on, 90 sec off)
  • How to measure your VO₂ Max
  • Beginner to advanced progressions
  • Best exercises for SIT (stairs, bike, rowing, dancing)
  • Weekly programming (1-3× per week)
  • Recovery strategies
  • How to track improvements 
  • How to shift your MINDSET around ageing using VO₂  as your barometer


VO2 MAX

YOUR VO2 MAX SCORE IS ONE OF THE SINGLE STRONGEST PREDICTORS OF HOW LONG YOU'LL LIVE

You just need to use the next 12 minutes properly.

Access the full VO2 MAX protocol FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

The Most Underrated and Criminally Underused LONGEVITY TOOL THAT'S FREE & AT YOUR DISPOSAL 24/7

BREATHWORK

You’ve been breathing your whole life but let’s be honest, you’ve probably been doing it badly.
Shallow, tight, up in the chest, shoulders tense pretty much the default setting for modern womanhood. You hold your stomach in, hold your breath in meetings, hold everything together and then wonder why you’re exhausted.

I’ve taught yogic breathwork 'pranayama' for over 25 years now and here’s what I want you to know and really take in: when you master your breath, you master your biology, your emotions, and your energy. It’s not mystical. It’s mechanical. The breath is your built-in remote control for your nervous system and it is powerful, free, and criminally underused.

Here’s what actually happens when you breathe properly: Deep diaphragmatic breathing oxygenates your cells, lowers cortisol, raises nitric oxide (which opens blood vessels), and activates the vagus nerve flipping you from “fight-or-flight” into “rest-and-repair.” In other words: you stop marinating in stress hormones and start making good chemistry again. And I'm sure you want that.

HERE ARE MY GO-TO BREATHING TECHNIQUES 
1. RESET (when you feel overloaded, wired, or on edge)
  • BOX BREATHING → THE CALM BOX: Short, sharp, instant calm like stepping inside a quiet room. Navy SEAL-level composure. Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4. Regulates your vagus nerve, steadies your heart, and pulls you out of panic mode fast.
  • NADI SHODHANA  → THE BRAIN BALANCER (Alternate Nostril Breathing): Your left–right reset button. This one balances your brain, steadies yours mood, and clears static. Think of it as “Ctrl+Alt+Delete” for your nervous system.
  • THE UJJAYI → THE OCEAN RESET: The breath that brings the tide back in Oceanic sound, longer exhale, sharper focus. Turns a busy headspace into a calmer rhythm by taking you out of your mind and bringing you back into your body.

2. SLEEP + DOWNREGULATION (when you’re tired but wired)
3. FOCUS + ENERGY (when you need clarity without caffeine)
4. EMOTIONAL RELEASE (when stress sits in the body)

AND EXHALE...

EACH BREATH HAS A PURPOSE YOU SEE......
You can lift energy, lower it, balance it, or clear it. No pills, powders, or apps required. Just biology doing what it was designed to do.

But breathwork isn’t just physiology. It’s spiritual circuitry.

The Sanskrit word prana means life force and when you breathe consciously, that force flows freely again. This humble breath connects you to the intelligence that lives beneath thought the still, knowing part of you that doesn’t rush or panic.

And that’s where the real transformation starts. You stop trying to manifest from frenzy and start creating from coherence. Your energy changes, your frequency steadies, and life starts to meet you there.

Start small.
Five deep breaths before the scroll. A few rounds of Nadi Shodhana before bed. A gentle Bhramari when your head feels like static or superbusy and analytical.

Because your breath doesn’t just keep you alive it teaches you how to live well. It’s the fastest, most reliable way to change your chemistry, your energy, and your reality one inhale at a time.
WANT THE COMPLETE PROTOCOL & MASTERCLASS?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • 12+ breathwork techniques (categorised by need: Reset, Sleep, Energy, Release)
  • Audio-guided sessions for each technique
  • Box Breathing, Nadi Shodhana, Ujjayi, Coherent Breathing, 4-7-8, Bhramari, Kapalabhati, Lion's Breath
  • When to use each technique
  • 30-day breathwork challenge
  • Troubleshooting guide

We’re all connected, you see. The breath you release is the breath I receive.

Access the full BREATHWORK TECHNIQUES FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

Access the full BREATHWORK MASTERCLASS FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

YOGA & MOBILITY

I’ve taught yoga for over 25 years, thousands of bodies, dozens of temperaments, every level of flexibility and self-doubt imaginable. And here’s what I know with absolute certainty: Yoga has never been about touching your toes. It’s about how well you can live inside your body.

Flexibility isn’t a gift. It’s a long-term savings plan for freedom of movement.

The Science of What’s Actually Happening After 40

You’re not imagining it.
After 40 your tissues really do change.

Fascia stiffens. Connective tissue becomes less springy. Synovial fluid (joint lubrication) drops. Proprioception declines when oestrogen drops. Spinal discs dehydrate. The pelvis becomes less mobile.

Yoga and targeted mobility are the only things that keep fascia gliding instead of gluing, particularly as you go though perimenopause.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • The 7 tissue changes after 40 (and what to do about each)
  • The 6 essential yoga poses for midlife women (Downward Dog, Shoulderstand, Tree Pose, Forward Bends, Twists, Backbends)
  • Why each pose matters (the specific biology)
  • 20-minute daily sequences (beginner to advanced)
  • Audio Notes so you can listen to it whilst you walk or workout
  • Modifications for injuries/limitations
  • How to build a sustainable yoga and mobilty practice
  • and more.....



01

Downward Dog

Adho Mukha Svanasana
(अधो मुख श्वानासन)

A spinal decompression, shoulder stabiliser, hamstring lengthener, calf opener, and disc hydrator all in one.

You’re loading bones, strengthening fascia, re-educating the posterior chain, and giving your nervous system a structural reset.

It is the (peri)menopausal woman’s best friend.

The YOGA Poses That Actually make a difference

Access the full YOGA & MOBILITY PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT

The to-do list gets louder. Your nose itches. You remember that weird thing you said in 2014. Welcome to the real work. I’ve taught meditation for over 25 years, and here’s what I know: most folk don't really feel like meditating cos it's confronting. But if you stick with it, it quietly becomes the most powerful tool you’ll ever own for your biology, your mind, and your soul.

LET'S START WITH THE SCIENCE.
Meditation lowers cortisol, raises serotonin, boosts GABA (your brain’s natural tranquilliser), and increases grey matter in the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for focus, compassion, and emotional regulation. It simultaneously shrinks the amygdala otherwise known as your internal panic button, meaning the things that used to send you spinning barely register. It even slows cellular ageing by preserving your telomeres, the protective caps on your DNA that shorten with stress.

That calm you feel after meditating? That’s not “zen.” That’s measurable neuroplastic change. In MRI scans, long-term meditators literally show younger brains - thicker cortex, stronger connections, slower ageing.

And there’s more.

Each breath draws you out of fight-or-flight and into your parasympathetic restoration state, where your body can actually repair itself. Blood pressure drops. Immunity rises. Hormones rebalance. Cells regenerate. You are literally ageing in reverse while sitting still.

AND THEN SOMETHING SUBTLER STARTS TO HAPPEN.

The space between your thoughts expands. You feel connected to yourself, to intuition, to something greater that doesn’t need a name. You stop hustling for alignment and realise it was there all along, waiting for you to get quiet enough to notice. This is where the magic in meditation is.

It’s the spiritual side, the one neuroscience can’t quite measure but your soul absolutely recognises. The lived awareness that your energy creates your reality. You see when you change your internal frequency - calmer, clearer, more grounded - life starts to meet you there. Opportunities shift. Relationships ease. You stop trying to manifest from desperation and start magnetising from alignment.

MEDITATION IS MANIFESTATION IN MOTION, JUST VERY, VERY SLOWLY.
Ten minutes a day is a good start.
Twenty is better.
Forty is life-changing.

Do it first thing in the morning, last thing at night or simply whenever you can.

Because sitting in silence isn’t passive. I believe that it is the most radical act of power there is.
It completely rewires your brain, heals your body, and magnetises the life that matches your frequency.


MEDITATION

There’s a moment when you sit down to meditate and your brain immediately screams, “REALLY DO I HAVE TO?”

meditation is probably the single most powerful tool i have ever used on a regular basis. IT'S SIMPLY MAGIC.

SLEEP

The Only Affair Worth Having in Midlife

SLEEP IS ABSOLUTELY

Close the laptop. Turn off the light. Let your cells do what they know how to do.

non-negotiable

I’ve always understood sleep. Not in the abstract way people talk about “getting an early night,” but in the bodily way you feel your inner system recalibrate, when you give it what it needs. I learned early that rest wasn’t optional, that I didn’t function well on bravado and four hours, that my mind sharpened and softened in direct proportion to how well I’d slept.

It wasn’t just discipline, it was a knowing. Sleep was how I kept myself steady. Which is why midlife hit differently not because I took sleep lightly, but because the thing I’d always trusted suddenly shifted shape beneath me. What had once been simple became a kind of negotiation with forces inside my own ribcage.

There’s a version of tiredness that’s innocent, uncomplicated the kind a bath and warm bed fixes. And then there’s the tiredness that appears in midlife: a more structural kind, a tiredness that has moved into the architecture of you. You wake at 3am with a heart behaving like it has intel you don’t, your pulse bright and insistent though the room is still. You lie there, suspended between awareness and dread, your mind combing through the files of your life even though you didn’t ask it to. You’re not panicking, exactly but something inside you won’t power down. It’s as though your body has become its own night watchman, pacing the corridors while you pretend to sleep.

Sleep is not passive. It never has been. While you collapse into the dark, the brain performs an astonishing set of repairs: the glymphatic system flushes out metabolic waste, clearing the debris of thought and stress; memories are sifted and stored; the immune system recalibrates; collagen repair accelerates; cells run their nightly diagnostics. It is the quietest, most profound maintenance work you will ever receive.

And when sleep fractures when those deep cycles are interrupted or shortened something in your machinery begins to grit. There’s a fog behind the eyes, a thinness in patience, a heaviness in limbs that no amount of “being positive” can override.

Midlife complicates this further. Oestrogen and progesterone, the two hormones that once held your sleep like quiet guardians, begin their slow withdrawal. Progesterone your internal sedative ebbs, leaving your system more exposed, more reactive. Cortisol, the stress hormone, steps forward. Melatonin declines. Your internal thermostat turns mercurial. You find yourself waking too hot, too alert, too aware. And it’s not because you’re anxious or dramatic or “not coping.” It’s because biology has silently reorganised itself, leaving your nervous system holding responsibilities it didn’t sign up for.

Even when you honour sleep, even when you respect it, midlife asks you to meet it differently. You can no longer crash into it. You have to lower yourself slowly, deliberately like someone descending into cold water rather than falling in. The room needs to be cooler. The light gentler. Your phone at a distance that feels almost ceremonial. Sleep becomes something you prepare for the way you once prepared for work: intentionally, as though your life depends on it. Because it does.

This is the part we rarely admit: nothing in your body works as it should without sleep. Not your metabolism. Not your emotional stability. Not your memory. Not your hormones. Not your immune system. We talk about longevity as if it lives in supplements, routines, discipline. But the truth is far simpler: sleep is the original longevity drug free, potent, non-negotiable. It is the foundation beneath every form of wellbeing.

Exhaustion is not a personality trait. It is not the cost of ambition. It is not noble. It is a warning sign a quiet collapse your body tries to mask with caffeine and competence until it no longer can. And when sleep starts slipping, your body will tell you the truth before your mind is ready to hear it. The irritability that feels disproportionate. The inability to recover from small stressors. The forgetfulness that feels uncharacteristic. The dull ache of living slightly outside yourself.

So you create a space for sleep because you are done negotiating with your own biology. You dim the lights. You cool the room. You let the day fall away without insisting it make sense. You lie down not as someone who must earn rest, but as someone who finally understands the cost of pretending she doesn’t need it. Because sleep isn’t what you do after your life is lived. It’s how your life repairs itself enough for you to live it at all.

Sleep: The One Habit That Fixes Everything ElsE

The 40+ Sleep Protocol

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • The 12-step sleep protocol (exact timing for each)
  • Midlife-specific modifications (progesterone, oestrogen, melatonin changes)
  • Circadian rhythm optimisation
  • Sleep environment setup (temperature, light, bedding)
  • Pre-sleep rituals that work
  • How to handle 3am wake-ups
  • Supplement stack for sleep
  • 90-day sleep tracker
This is where the protocol needs a second layer not softer, but smarter.
As a woman in your 40s or 50s you're not sleeping in the same body as you had at 30.
  • Falling progesterone removes your natural sedative. Progesterone is calming. When it decreases, the nervous system becomes more reactive more night-waking, more heart-racing at 3am, more difficulty “dropping. This is biology, not anxiety.

  • Oestrogen decline disrupts thermoregulation. You now heat faster and cool slower. Your sleep environment needs to be cooler, your bedding more breathable, your nightwear non-negotiably natural fibres.

  • Melatonin drops with age making sleep onset harder. Evening light exposure matters more than ever. Dimming lights isn’t optional; it’s essential for hormonal support.

  • Blood sugar becomes more sensitive. A late glucose spike will wake you at 2–3am with adrenaline. The 3-hour eating window is twice as important now.

  • Cortisol becomes less predictable. You're more prone to waking early with a surge. A 5–10 minute “downshift window” before bed breathing, journalling, legs-up-the-wall, gentle stretching will help recalibrate your stress axis.

  • Alcohol hits harder (and ruins deep sleep). Even small amounts fragment REM, raise core temperature, and spike early-morning cortisol. If you drink, keep it earlier, lighter, and infrequent.

  • Perimenopause amplifies everything. Heat, anxiety, racing thoughts, shallow sleep. If you wake in the night, get up, go into dim light, read or breathe until your system lowers, then return. Lying in bed “trying” only trains insomnia.

MIDlife WOMEN: THE BIOLOGY THAT CHANGES THE RULES

Access the full sleep PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

SUNLIGHT 

Sunlight is the master switch for your circadian rhythm. Get outside within two hours of waking and take at least ten minutes of real sunlight. That light hits your retina, locks in your circadian rhythm, steadies cortisol, boosts serotonin and primes evening melatonin. For women 40+, this simple daily ritual improves sleep, mood and metabolism.

mind-blowing

The single biggest predictor of how long and well you’ll live isn’t what you eat it’s who you talk to. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has followed people for over 85 years, found one blindingly clear truth: good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.

Not wealth. Not status. Not even kale chips air-fried in Omega-3 oil.
Connection is the real longevity supplement.

HERE'S THE BIOLOGY:
When you connect and I mean really connect, your brain releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone.” It lowers blood pressure, soothes the amygdala, and activates the vagus nerve, the master switch of calm. Your immune system literally recalibrates when you feel loved. People with strong social ties have lower inflammation, stronger immunity, and slower cellular ageing measured right down to their telomeres, the little caps that protect your DNA.

In other words, love keeps you younger at a cellular level. But midlife can be brutal for connection. You’re busy. Kids grow up. Parents fade. Friend groups shift.

The energy once spent on others starts turning inward not always in a bad way, but it can get lonely fast. And loneliness? Biologically, it’s toxic. It raises cortisol and inflammation, and increases mortality risk as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

CONNECTION ISN'T SOFT. IT'S MEDICINE.

In the quiet corridors of my own life, I could see where relationships were either feeding me or draining me, and my body was keeping the score long before I was ready to admit it. There was a morning I remember it vividly, though nothing extraordinary happened when I found myself sitting at the kitchen table long after the tea had gone cold. There was no drama, no tears. Just a sudden, unmistakable awareness that something in my life had shifted, and I hadn’t caught up yet.

My phone lit up with two messages. The first was from a friend I’ve loved for years. A “thinking of you” voice note, warm and real in that way she always is. My shoulders instantly dropped; my breath deepened without effort. The second was from someone I was maintaining out of loyalty rather than truth. And before I could even open it, my chest tightened not with anger, just with quiet dread.

It was in that tiny, ordinary moment that I realised that my nervous system knew the truth about my relationships before my mind did. It had been speaking to me for years in whispers: the knot in my stomach around certain family conversations, the way my jaw clenched during a work call where I pretended to be “okay,” the shallow breathing that came whenever I needed to be the strong one, the deep, bodily relief of being with someone who saw me instead of the role I performed.

Science will tell you this is oxytocin, cortisol, vagal tone, allostatic load. But science doesn’t sit with you at the kitchen table on a Tuesday morning when nothing is wrong and yet everything feels off.

Science can’t describe the quiet grief of watching a parent age the way you’re suddenly the one steadying their arm even though part of you still feels twelve. It can’t capture the emotional archaeology that siblings dig up unintentionally, the old roles that cling to you like dust from a house you no longer live in. It doesn’t explain the marriage that looks fine from the outside but has become mostly logistics and polite silence. Or the way your grown child hugs you differently looser, less needy and you find yourself holding on a fraction too long.

Midlife relationships are not neat. They are not linear. They don’t seem to obey the rules we thought we understood in our twenties. They contract and expand without warning. They ask things of you that feel impossibly heavy, then offer moments of beauty that take your breath away. They reflect back the parts of yourself you’ve ignored, the truths you’ve avoided, the changes you’ve resisted.

I didn’t realise how much my health depended on these relationships until my own body started giving me feedback more honest than any doctor could. The exhaustion that wasn’t really exhaustion but emotional overload. The sleepless nights that had nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with suppressed conversations. The anxiety that I kept trying to meditate away, when what I needed was to stop investing time and energy in friendships that had expired years ago.

The unexpected joy, the almost-childlike ease, when I spent time with people who made me feel uncomplicatedly myself. You can’t fake this. Your biology doesn’t lie. And the truth the one I resisted for far too long is that longevity isn’t just about how long you live. It’s also about how connected you are while you’re living.

Every long-lived culture in the world has this in common: shared meals, shared burdens, shared history, shared afternoons where no one is rushing anywhere. They belong to each other. They don’t do life alone. There was a season when I tried to be self-sufficient. When I thought strength meant “I’ve got this,” even when I didn’t. When I prioritised productivity over presence, showy over vulnerability, politeness over honesty. I'd say I aged a decade in those years not visibly, but internally.

Stress carved itself into my ribcage. My body lived in survival mode. And no supplement could reach what loneliness had tightened. The turning came slowly, one honest conversation at a time. One boundary spoken out loud. One friendship that deepened because I finally allowed myself to be seen. One family member I forgave not because they deserved it, but because I needed the space in my own chest.

These moments both mundane and seismic also added to my longevity practices. Not just the ice baths. The saunas. But people. The right people. The ones who make my nervous system unclench. The ones who don’t need a curated version of me. The ones with whom silence isn’t a threat, but a kind of homecoming.

I’m convinced now that we age in two directions: chronologically and relationally. Our cells follow our relationships softening when we feel loved, tightening when we don’t, repairing when we feel safe, fraying when we don’t have anyone to collapse into. A long life is length. A good life is connection and a return to love. And midlife with all its losses, epiphanies and recalibrations is a good moment you realise you can choose both.

Like the people who make your breath steady. The ones who turn ordinary days into something warm and the ones who remind you you’re not meant to carry the whole world alone. I now strongly believe that deep connection should also figure as part of your longevity protocol.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • How to audit your relationships (who feeds you, who drains you)
  • The nervous system test (who makes you clench vs soften)
  • Building new friendships in midlife
  • Deepening existing connections
  • How to let go of expired relationships
  • Creating intentional community
  • Loneliness vs solitude (the crucial difference)


GENUINE
CONNECTION

Feeling loved literally slows ageing.

THE ULTIMATE LONGEVITY PROTOCOL? A STRONG HEART, GOOD FRIENDS, AND SOMEONE TO LAUGH WITH UNTIL YOU CRY.

Access the full CONNECTION PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

Nature’s PharmacY for Midlife rage, stress, hot flushes & more

ADAPTOGENS

Caffeine. Deadlines. Children. Hormones.
Welcome to midlife where your adrenals deserve hazard pay.

Enter adaptogens and functional mushrooms: nature’s ancient stress-whisperers, cognition-boosters, and cellular bodyguards. These herbs and fungi have been used for centuries in Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine, not to sedate or hype you up, but to teach your body how to handle stress, build resilience and return to balance, no matter whatever the day throws at you.

HOW DO THEY WORK?
They work by modulating the HPA axis, your body’s stress-response command centre, and balancing cortisol, that once-useful hormone that saved you from sabre-toothed tigers but now spikes because someone moved your charger.

  • Too high? You’re wired, anxious, unable to sleep.
  • Too low? You’re flat, fatigued, “I cannot do this” tired.
  • Adaptogens bring you back to the Goldilocks middle ground.

They’ve been game-changing for me during perimenopause and midlife especially for rage and stress. Delivered with equal parts ancient wisdom and modern clinical backing. Let’s dive into the ones worth knowing.

My personal favourite? Rhodiola Rosea.
I take it first thing in the morning as it’s intense in the best way. Sharper focus, steadier mood, and none of the mid-afternoon slump. It’s not a hug, it’s a push. But I cycle it - three months on, one month off in the winter because like any good relationship, you don’t want it to lose its spark.

Here’s the rest of the dream team:

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • Complete guide to 7+ adaptogens (Rhodiola, Ashwagandha, Tulsi, Brahmi, Schisandra, Maca, Siberian Ginseng)
  • When to take each one (morning vs evening)
  • Cycling strategies (3 months on, 1 month off)
  • How to stack adaptogens
  • Brand recommendations
  • Dosing for midlife women
  • Tracking your response

Access the full ADAPTOGENS PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

Nature has had our backs for centuries.
It’s time to let her help

MUSHROOMS

LIVE LONG

🍄 Functional Mushrooms: The Nerds of Nature These aren’t the “see God and hug a tree” mushrooms. These are the clinically proven, mitochondria-loving, brain-sharpening kind. The fungi that should probably have their own LinkedIn profiles.

I’ve tried them all. Powders, tinctures, gummies (yes, you can get them in gummy form now which I do, because chewing your way to better brain function feels vaguely genius). They taste like damp forest floor or strawberry vitamins, depending on how fancy you are, but they work.

HERE'S THE CAST LIST:
  • LION'S MANE the scholar. Stimulates nerve growth factor (NGF), literally repairing and regenerating neurons. Sharper memory, calmer mood, focus that feels like caffeine but without the chaos.
  • REISHI the zen master. Contains triterpenes that calm anxiety, boost deep sleep, and modulate immunity. Basically meditation in mushroom form.
  • CORDYCEPS the athlete. Increases ATP production (your cellular energy currency) and oxygen uptake by up to 15%. Used by endurance athletes long before biohackers caught on.
  • CHAGA the tank. Antioxidant levels off the charts roughly 50× more powerful than blueberries. It protects your DNA from oxidative drama.
  • TREMELLA the beauty genius. Known as nature’s hyaluronic acid, it holds up to 500× its weight in water and supports collagen from the inside out. Glowy skin, hydrated cells, smug face.
  • TURKEY TAIL the defender. Loaded with beta-glucans that supercharge immune cells. There’s even research using it alongside cancer treatments for immune support.

Together, they’re like upgrading your internal operating system and give you clearer focus, calmer nerves, better recovery, and skin that looks like you actually sleep. Women in midlife love them for a reason: they reduce inflammation, stabilise hormones, support gut health, and give back energy that caffeine just can’t touch.

Start with a blend or pick one. Add to your matcha, smoothie, or - my current favourite - pop a gummy and feel smug about your mitochondria.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • Complete breakdown of 6 functional mushrooms
  • Exact dosing and timing
  • How to stack mushrooms with adaptogens
  • Powder vs tincture vs gummies (what works best)
  • Brand recommendations
  • Cycling protocols
  • Recipes (mushroom matcha, smoothies)

SHROOMS

BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN DESERVES BETTER THAN ROGUE HORMONES, CAFFEINE & WHATEVER FRESH HELL MIDLIFE THROWS AT YOU!

It’s not witchcraft. It’s just fungi with PhDs.

Access the full SHROOMS PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

THE REAL LONGEVITY ELIXIR

JOY & PURPOSE

There’s a moment usually somewhere in your 40s or 50s when life taps you on the shoulder and whispers, “This is it.” Not the rehearsal. Not the warm-up. The life you’re actually going to remember.

And by now, you’ve probably lost someone. Your age. Someone who didn’t get their second half. Someone whose story stopped mid-sentence. It shakes something loose in you, the grief, the rage, the tenderness of realising how wildly unfair and fragile all of this is.

And then, in the middle of school runs and deadlines and the 3pm slump, something shifts. You start asking different questions the ones you can’t unhear like: What do I actually want? Why am I rushing? Who am I performing for?

That’s when it lands for you: purpose and joy aren’t luxuries. They’re the real deal. They’re what your nervous system hooks onto when everything else feels like it’s sliding. Purpose isn’t about saving the world. It’s the quiet, gritty reason you get out of bed when life feels heavy. It’s the thing that pulls you forward when motivation packs its bags and leaves. It’s what gives shape to a week when everything else is up for renegotiation.

And yes the science is there. People with purpose live longer, think clearer, and age slower at a cellular level. But honestly? You don’t need research to tell you that having a reason keeps you alive. You feel it. And joy, I mean real joy is laughing so hard your abs hurt. It’s dancing terribly in your kitchen. It’s good coffee, deep conversations, and the kind of “bad decisions” that turn into the best stories. Joy is what tells you you’re still awake. Still here. Still capable of being surprised by your own life.

Midlife meanwhile burns the bullsh*t away. You stop faking “I’m fine.” You stop bending yourself into shapes for people who’d never do the same. You start protecting your energy like it’s gold. You get braver about who you love, what you say yes to.

Longevity isn’t about clinging to youth. It’s about refusing to waste time. It’s about choosing to live like you know how precious this all is. Because here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: Some people never make it here. They don’t get this chapter, this wisdom, this second chance. So if you’re here bruised, wiser, still standing please don’t squander it.

Go towards all the stuff that makes you feel alive. Build your days around what matters. Laugh harder. Heck laugh more. Drop all that guilt you carry around with you. Say the thing. Take the risk. Just go for it. Purpose and joy won’t stop you ageing. But they sure as hell will make ageing feel more authentic and honest. By living your truth.
Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • The Purpose Audit (finding what actually matters to you)
  • Joy mapping (identifying what lights you up)
  • How to build days around meaning joy
  • Map and measure your KJIs - Your Key Joy Indicators
  • Releasing guilt and "shoulds"
  • The science of purpose and cellular ageing
  • Creating legacy without pressure
  • Midlife as your most powerful beginning

Access the full JOY & PURPOSE PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

BE WILD & FREE

For years you believed that desire was something that arrived from elsewhere summoned by another person, a shift in mood, a scent brushing past you on a crowded street. And when it began to thin out, when it no longer sparked on its own, you blamed age, or hormones, or the unremarkable tiredness of a life carried competently but heavily.

Have you thought to consider the quiet truth? That you have been living inches above your own skin, close enough to function, yet too far to feel. Desire doesn’t get less or die in your 40s and 50s it just gets tired of the admin required to pretend everything is fine. You've become efficient. Necessary. A woman who can be relied upon. And your body has turned into something vaguely utilitarian, a vehicle transporting your mind from room to room, your child/ren from home to school and back again, your responsibilities from one hour to the next. Efficiency is marvellous for spreadsheets, catastrophic for your nervous system.

Your body isn’t hostile, but it isn’t home either. And when the adrenaline finally drains from your system, that brittle fuel you’ve mistaken for vitality, what actually settles in its place isn’t calm. It's a hollowed-out quiet. And beneath it, a question you’ve been avoiding:

WHERE HAVE I GONE?

You see, you don’t lose pleasure all at once. It slips away in increments - in your shallow breath, a clenched jaw, the way your shoulders unconsciously rise as though preparing for impact, even when nothing’s coming. You tell yourself you’re tired. You tell yourself it’s life. But the truth is way simpler, you cannot feel when you’re guarding the fortress. You can’t feel anything while you’re clenching every muscle like a human inbox. You cannot want while your nervous system is on watch.

Yes it's true, your chemistry does shift in midlife. Oestrogen pulls away like a car on your drive, your blood flow changes and your brain decides to get creative and redraws your map of desire. However, the story you’ve inherited and learned, the one that says your desire fades with age is wrong and I believe not particularly helpful either. What really happens is that the noise dies down enough for you to hear what your body has been requesting for years: PRESENCE.

You see presence is far sexier than anything you attempted in your twenties and thirties, mostly because it's so rare. It returns in the smallest, most domestic moments, the ones you nearly dismiss like hot water tracing the curve of your spine, sunlight warming your knees as you sit by a window, the unfamiliar but unmistakable weight of your own hand resting lightly at your thigh. Sensation begins to gather in faint ripples, like the low hum of electricity flickering back after an outage. It isn't dramatic or cinematic. It's a quiet way for your desire to come back. Sometimes the most erotic moment of the day is realising you’ve been breathing like a fugitive for a decade.

And then, unexpectedly, something deepens within you, a widening in your awareness perhaps, a pulse low down in your belly, a warmth that doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t escalate. It isn’t the restless hunger of youth or anything like that. It’s something steadier. It's more something akin to discernment. It's when you realise that sex was never meant to disappear it was just meant to mature, to grow more textured, less sparky, more current, more sultry, less spectacle, more truth.

Your body still wants it just with less drama, and instinctively it leans towards what feels good. It wants warmth. Contact. Tenderness. A mouth at your shoulder. Breath shared in close proximity. It wants that moment when thought loosens its grip on you and sensation takes over, your world narrowing to pulse, pressure, breath. It’s astonishing how much desire returns when you stop treating your own body like a colleague you’re slightly afraid of.

Science can diagram the whole thing if it likes, dopamine rising, oxytocin smoothing the edges, nitric oxide opening pathways. Basically biology doing its unshowy, reliable work. But deep deep inside your body, it all feels so much simpler. doesn't it? You feel alignment. You feel gravity, gentle, anchoring, inevitable. Biology isn’t subtle it’s basically tapping you on the shoulder saying, “Darling, either we feel something soon or I’m filing a complaint.”

Midlife desire changes and that's natural and just different from before. But to be clear it is in no way any lesser. It might be slower, more atmospheric, more conversational. It might ask for your attention but this time around it gives more in return. There's an intelligence to it, perhaps a depth unavailable to you when you were younger and too busy auditioning for a role you never applied for. Midlife sex isn’t deeper because you’re older, it’s deeper because you’ve finally stopped pretending to be something you're not.

The thing about pleasure, real pleasure, is that it refuses to negotiate. It doesn’t care about age or weight or whether you’re “in the mood.” It has no interest in youth. It asks only that you return to yourself. Fully. Without apology. And that mythic “goddess” you hear about? She isn’t floating in incense smoke. She’s far more grounded. She lives in the warm slipstream beneath your ribs, in the subtle ache behind the sternum, in the fingertips when they hover too long. She’s the part of you that rises when you stop being so bloody polite with yourself. When you finally allow your inner wild blossom to take charge with proceedings!

You see she doesn’t want you younger. She just wants you present, in the moment. Here and now.
So yes touch yourself. Or let someone else touch you. Or simply let life touch you again. Slow down.
Take your time. Let sensation sit without needing to justify itself. Honestly, desire didn’t evaporate it just went on strike until management offered better working conditions.

BTW there is nothing indulgent about this. It's physiology meeting permission and biology remembering its purpose: connection, warmth, relief, grounding and SENSUALITY. We talk about longevity as though it’s measured strictly in data points. But perhaps it’s also measured in these fleeting returns when you step back inside your own skin, when your breath deepens, when sensation gathers, when you stop pretending and start deeply living the life you already have. With more ease, with more power, with that scent of perfume that lingers in your hair.

PLEASURE & SENSUALITY

A FIELD NOTE ON COMING BACK TO YOUR BODY

Pleasure isn’t a distraction from living. It’s confirmation you are still here.

Want the complete protocol?
Inside The Longevity Playbook on Substack, you'll get:

  • The science of midlife desire (what actually changes)
  • How to return to your body (somatic practices)
  • Reclaiming pleasure without trying so hard
  • Practices for reconnecting with sensation
  • The hormone-desire connection
  • Self-pleasure as a longevity practice
  • Navigating desire changes with partners

Access the full PLEASURE & SENSUALITY PROTOCOL FOR WOMEN'S LONGEVITY on
The Midlife Code SUBSTACK - paid subscribers only. 

Use This Longevity Playbook Because Your Second Half Starts Here

I don't know about you but I didn't think it would come round this fast. One minute you’re 28, drunk on possibility. The next you’re 48, googling magnesium at 3am and trying to remember why you walked into the kitchen.

These decades have a way of stripping the bullsh*t out of you. You’ve seen enough to know how fragile it all is. You’ve probably buried a few dreams. Maybe even a few people. And that changes things.

It certainly makes me look at life differently sharper, hungrier, less willing to waste time pretending. And that’s what longevity really is. Not a smug pursuit of forever, but a stand off against indifference.

It’s deciding that while you’re here, you’ll actually be here. All the saunas and supplements in the world mean nothing if you’re still sleepwalking through your days.

The point isn’t to live longer it’s to live well. To feel alive in your bones and your soul. To stay curious. To keep laughing. To still give a damn about something.

Your second half isn’t about reinvention. It’s about returning to the person you were before life layered on all the noise. The one who still wanted things. Who still felt things. Who hadn’t yet learned to shrink.

So no, you don’t need another biohack. You need a reason. A pulse. A plan. A laugh that makes your ribs ache.

Longevity isn’t in a lab. It’s in your choices. It’s in how you move, what you feed yourself, who you sit beside, and what you give your energy to. It’s the courage to say, this is it and I’m going to make it count.

Because some of us didn’t get the chance. And if you’re lucky enough to still be standing still curious, still capable of a belly laugh then you owe it to yourself to make this second half the one that means something.

You know what the hardest part of longevity isn't? The science. The science is simple, brutal, and non-negotiable. The hard part is doing it.

Showing up when you don't feel like it. Choosing the sauna over the sofa. Taking the plunge when the water's cold and your bed is warm. Sitting in meditation when your to-do list is screaming. That's longevity. Not the knowledge. The doing.

So here's my only real advice: don't aim for perfect. Aim for consistent. One week of four sauna sessions beats six months of vague intentions. One cold plunge beats zero. Ten minutes of meditation beats the fantasy of forty. Your body doesn't need your discipline. It needs your devotion.

Start this week. Not next Monday. Not January. Now. Pick one tool from this Playbook and use it for seven days straight. Just one. Then notice how you feel. Then add another.

Because you didn't come here to read about longevity. You came here to build it. 

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LONGEVITY & AGEING WELL

Unlock the Secrets to Living Well Longer: Dive into Our Blog for No-Nonsense Advice on Aging Gracefully, Staying Mindful, and Keeping Healthy. Your Path to Longevity and ageing well Begins Here, One Practical Article at a Time.

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